Where The Dinosaurs Feast, Lightsabers in Hand
by Picklez'n'cheez-luv
Summary: Two girls are entrusted with the great quest that is finding the heroes of light, who currently reside in the Canadian Prairies. As you may guess, much chaos ensues. It is more of a parody and uses many recurring Final Fantasy elements. Rated T for Chaos.


_**As a wise, wise man once said; "I, I, I love little girls they make me feel so good"**_

* * *

"And then she said 'The world is coming to and end,'" Sabrina explained, waving her arms dramatically. She was telling her best friend Kimber about a dream she had the night before. "But you see, I feel like it was so _real_, you know?"

"Hmmm." Kimber thought deeply, crossing her legs and stroking her chin.

The two friends were sitting on a park bench in the crappy park in their hometown of Morris, Manitoba, staring at the playground equipment. Mothers and their children stared at them warily, wondering why the hell two teenagers were at the park when they couldn't fit on most of the playground equipment and the pool wasn't open.

Kimber's head perked up suddenly like she had just recently come to a stunning realization.

"What did you eat before going to bed last night?" Kimber asked Sabrina like that would solve all her problems. Sabrina sighed, as if implying that Kimber was somehow unintelligent.

"Don't you see!?" Sabrina exclaimed, jumping up on the park bench. "We must find the heroes of light!"

"The heroes of light?" Kimber asked her quizzically.

"The heroes of light!" Sabrina yelled.

Kimber jumped up beside Sabrina. "The hero's of light!"

Passerby's stared at them like they were crazy, and mother's directed their children away from the two friends. Kimber laughed maniacally, her hands on her hips.

"What!?" Sabrina screamed at the random people. "You don't know who the heroes of light are!?" They all backed away slightly.

"Useless," Kimber whispered, ashamed of the people who lived in their small town. The two friends jumped happily off of the bench, starting to walk, both of them thinking deeply. Kimber heard a small voice from behind a nearby bush.

"Hey, you two, get over here," A woman's voice called. Sabrina and Kimber shrugged in unison, walking toward the voice. Every step brought more fear and panic in them, chilling their bones. Kimber reached toward a branch, pulling it out of the way.

Behind the bush was… absolutely nothing.

"Down here!" The voice whispered harshly.

They looked down, spotting two tiny people. Or, what looked like a woman… and a… moogle?

With a poof the two creatures were life sized. The woman had long reddish-brown hair in a loose braid. Her face was rounded and made her look babyish, and she had a few freckles across the bridge of her nose, which also contributed to her childish appearance. She wore a loose-fitting blue dress that was adorned by silver chains. She wore five thin, simple, silver bracelets on one hand, and four on the other. A silver crown was worn on her head. The woman seemed to have wings, but they weren't quite touching her back, it was as if they were separate from her. She had an aura of serenity around her that was soon ruined by her exclamation of; "Behold! I am the wise prophet Kelsey!" and the fact that she was holding what appeared to be a bottle of wine in her hand.

The moogle beside her had a blank, unreadable expression.

Kelsey pointed toward the two friends with her wine bottle.

"Take notes, I'm not repeating this shit."

Kimber nodded obediently, hastily puling a pen and notebook out of her purse.

"You must find Cid," Kelsey commanded. Her moogle nodded sagely, seemingly confirming that this was all seriousness.

"Where is he?" Sabrina asked excitedly.

"In the land of the riders, the land of Kimber's birth."

Kimber's eyes lit up. Saskatchewan.

"The riders… dragon riders?" Sabrina whispered to herself. Kimber scoffed. Obviously Kelsey meant the Rough Riders football team.

"How will we find Cid?" Sabrina asked, still unsure of this all.

"Cid, airships, put the pieces together!" Kelsey exclaimed, slightly exasperated. Kimber nodded vigorously, understand immediately. Of course! The Regina airport!

"Tedrick will accompany you. He knows more about these lands than even I," Kelsey told them, gesturing to the moogle.

"Now screw off!" She screamed, smashing her wine bottle against the ground and becoming tiny again, flying off.

Kimber and Sabrina couldn't believe what was happening to them, _they_, of all people, were in charge of finding the Heroes Of Light! What greater honour could be forced upon them?

But Kimber frowned. She'd have to leave her sister. She glanced at Sabrina, who seemed to be thinking something similar.

"How would we get to Saskatchewan?" Kimber asked. They both thought for a moment, before exclaiming in unison: "A GREYHOUND BUS!"

"But wasn't someone's head chopped off in a greyhound bus?" Sabrina asked, referring to an incident that occurred about half a year ago.

"So bring necessary supplies."

"Hai!"

"Meet here in one hour, I'll take Tedrick."

They then left each other, running off in either direction.

Once Kimber made it to her house, she stopped in front of the door, turning to Tedrick. "I'm going to have to pretend that you're a stuffed animal."

He nodded.

Kimber scooped her arms down to pick him up. He was unbearably heavy, so she'd have to hurry to her room.

As soon as she opened the door, she rushed to her room, plopping Tedrick down on the bed. Kimber packed some clothes and other essential things such as her wallet, cellphone, cellphone charger, ipod, ipod dock, notebooks, hairbrush, pens and pencils, her sasuke plushie, and her Pokemon blanket.

"Father," She called out.

"Yes Kimber?"

"I have to go to Saskatchewan to find Cid and save the world, tell the school I'll be back eventually."

"The fuck?" Her dad asked, clearly confused beyond belief.

"Can you use your credit card to order Sabrina and I greyhound bus tickets?"

"No."

Tedrick stepped off the bed and strolled casually into her father's office.

"Glen, my name's Tedrick, and I'm here to make sure Sabrina and Kimber save the world. Please buy them Greyhound bus tickets, or I will be forced to injure you."

Kimber's father gulped.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sabrina had finished packing.

Her mother raised her eyebrow incredulously. "What's the suitcase for?"

"I'm going to visit Kate, I suddenly inherited a large amount of money, goodbye." Her lie obviously wasn't very convincing.

"Sabrina…" Her mom whispered.

"BLIZZAGA!" Sabrina screamed instinctively. Without warning, a burst of cold air surged through her body and shot out through her left hand, sending her mother flying backwards. Sabrina glanced at her hand in horror, then at her mother. She saw red letters floating above her mothers head that said "- 400", they disappeared quickly. "I'm sorry," She murmured, trying to leave.

She ran on the spot for a while, unable to actually run properly. Then, she ran out of the house.

She was so confused. It was just like Final Fantasy. She couldn't leave the battle without running on the spot for a while!

Sabrina shook her head, hoping she was just imagining it.

* * *

At the park, Kimber and Tedrick were already waiting when Sabrina arrived.

"Sorry guys!" Sabrina called, wheezing from her frantic sprint over there. She gripped her ankle, massaging it gently.

"It's okay!" Kimber exclaimed happily. Sabrina's eyes immediately narrowed.

"I don't care whether I have your approval or not," She hissed, glaring at her friend.

"Fine. Whatever. I can tell when I'm unwanted. I guess I'll just go, you know, kill myself," Kimber murmured overdramatically, refusing to look at Sabrina. Sabrina rolled her eyes, opening her mouth to speak.

"If I may interject," Tedrick said, his voice commanding and unifying.

"Go ahead," Kimber allowed.

"The bus will most likely be here soon," Tedrick informed the quarreling friends.

"What bus?" Sabrina asked Kimber curiously, they had both already forgotten their quick, useless squabble.

"Greyhound bus!" Kimber screamed out happily.

Sabrina's eyes widened. "Do you know how many people have gotten killed on those things!?"

"Yeah," Kimber stated blankly. "That's why I came prepared."

Sabrina raised her eyebrow quizzically, wondering what the hell her friend was talking about.

The two friends and their Moogle trudged up the street, making their way to main street where the bus would stop. As they did so, Kimber pulled something large out of her bag, putting it on her head. She turned around to face Sabrina.

Kimber breathed heavily in her recently put on helmet, slow, careful breaths. "Luke, I am your father."

Darth Vader Voice Changer Helmet.

She smiled warmly. "NOW we're ready!"

* * *

_**TELL ME YOUNG ONES!**_

_**WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS IDEA?**_

_**I'm not promising the next chapter will be up anytime soon, buuut maybe a few reviews would help influence me? xD**_

_**TILL NEXT CHAPTER**_

_** - Picklez**_

* * *


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